#QUOTE THOSE WHO REMAIN SILENT HOW TO#

Most importantly, we both needed to know that SHE wanted to change. I could have talked with her about cutting but know that she did not want the change to happen because I started the conversation. I could have damaged our relationship by being like every other adult who lectured her about cutting. I could have done a lot of harm in doing the talking. I have been trained to look at the floor not to get distracted, but to be present and toВ put them in charge. I purposefully created silence and let her know that the ball was in her court.Дo you understand how hard it is to not say ANYTHINGВ during a session? They are staring at you and expecting you to lead them. It was also important for me to show her that I would be there for her. It was important for me to show her that just because other people blow it off like it is no big deal, I think it is a big deal. Because I knew that treatment could not continue until she talked about the situation, I told her that I would sit with her until she was ready to talk. This particular session was with a teenage girl who had cut herselfВ and stated that she did not want to talk about it. I have strategically stared at the floor for 45 minutes worth of a session on purpose to create space and to create a boundary.

#QUOTE THOSE WHO REMAIN SILENT HOW TO#

We had one whole class on how to manage silence in sessions. I know that as a therapist, I have been taught how to use silence. Better yet, what if they interpret your silence as not knowing what to say or that what they last said is so valid, nothing should be said to revoke it? Is being silent being afraid though? What if choosing to be silent is the coward way out of a sticky situation? What if being silent creates complacency where there should not be complacency?Д«y that I mean what if you have a message that is really important but you are staying silent about it and the other person or other people interpret that as you have nothing to say. Power can both build self-esteem and tear it down, depending on who is being silent and who is on the receiving end of silence. Maybe that is the power of silenceвЂ¦maybe silence creates space for change. Power may or may not be helpful especially in situations where it does not feel like there is room for change. I think that there are times in life where you realize that nothing you say and nothing you do will create a solution to the situation so you decide to become silent. I think that being silent can create power because it is a choice. For those that stone wall, typically, they feel like there is no option but to be silent. No one enjoys getting the silent treatment and in the therapy world, we call the silent treatment stone walling and it is toxic. During those angry moments, silence can be taken as a form of manipulation or control. Sometimes, we do not have the right words to say.

It gives space for you to think, to process feelings, even to return to equilibrium. Silence at times feels like the best option. It was not until I have gotten closer to 30 years old that I realized the purpose of silence and why people chose to be silent over fighting for what is right. You create the soapbox and you talk about whatever it may be. As a child, teenager, and even a young adult the idea of being silent about important things was never an option for me. Has always been one of my favorite quotes. Martin Luther King Jr.вЂ™s quote of, вЂњOur lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter,вЂќ I felt compelled to write a little something today after looking at some of the pictures and quotes from MLK. This week we marked the anniversary of the day Martin Luther King Jr.

Quote those who remain silent